I mean that and I have a village… and then some. You know what I also have? A mom. The best mom in the whole entire universe. There is only one person that I would turn down Malawi for and that person is my mom. Lucky for me, she knows that I need Malawi as much as Malawi (hopefully) needs me. I haven’t written in a while. I am hoping to write more frequently when I’m away from home. However, I have no idea what my time in Malawi will bring. I am learning as much as I can as quickly as I can.

I’ve had a lot of blood taken lately. I’ve seen a lot of doctors lately and been pricked with a bunch of needles to the point where I felt like a pin cushion. Needles are not my favorite. Luckily, I have a mom who is not anti-vaccine so I am all current on all of my shots. My antibodies came back good which meant I only needed the extra vaccine required by the Peace Corps. Yellow Fever. Yikes. Luckily, again, the needle was small so it didn’t hurt too bad. The experience wasn’t my favorite but it’s over. Moving on.

Have I mentioned how great my mom is? Oh yeah. So my mom and all of my doctors could be considered my village. BUT… I have more than that. My sisters, dad, stepmom, and extended family. They are amazing. I’m not trying to be all sappy. It’s just that we just made it through the holiday season and my family really reminded me of all that I have to be thankful for. Them.

Ever since I got my invitation, I’ve been trying to show up to things. To show up for people. To make plans and keep them. To say yes to invitations. Just show up. I want to know that I have made every effort to show the people that I love and care about that I love them and that I care about them. I have tried many times to show people that I love and care about them only to have that thrown in my face. The nice thing about leaving is that they won’t have time to do that. I can give and give and then leave and keep on giving to those that are waiting for everything I can give them when I get to Malawi. Sometimes it is more about how you can make others feel than about how much giving everything you have completely drains you. Much of my life has been spent feeling “too much” or being “too much” and I hope that my “too much” will finally turn out to be just enough in this new place that I am venturing to in only five months.

I can’t believe Malawi is only five months away…

I was worried that my mom wasn’t taking this time seriously enough. I was mad that she didn’t want to talk about it all the time. I got so frustrated because she wasn’t responding emotionally the way that I wanted to. When I confronted her about this… well… I was wrong. This experience is really helping me to understand emotions on a very different level. This waiting game and the anticipation of my impending adventure is showing me all of the millions of waves of emotions that I had no idea would happen. Every day is a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I realized that every day is a rollercoaster for my mom, too. We all feel things differently. There is no “right” way to feel. Realizing that is incredibly helpful for me. I needed that. The next five months are only going to get more and more intense for me on the emotional scale and I am going to do my best to handle my emotions and help those around me with theirs. Because they are my village and they are wonderful.