With great power comes great responsibility. 

So, what now, America? I’ve taken a few days to decide what I wanted to say about the recent happenings in this country. I’ve felt a number a different emotions. Sadness, horror, fear, worry, disgust, and these are just to name a few. However, I’ve also felt hope. 

This election affected me deeply. Rocked me to my core. But, not for the reasons that many might think. To me, this election was about much more than the candidates. It was about the direction our country was/is going to go. I feel like in the last eight years we’ve been able to show the world that we believe in freedom and in acceptance and in growth. I think Obama has done an incredible job at moving in a positive and loving direction. I am proud of our current president. I am proud to call him my president. 

This post isn’t about our president-elect. I will not bash him because I, truly, hope he succeeds. If he doesn’t, I worry what that will do to our country. 

This blog post is to express my emotions and to express my worry at the additional obstacles that I may face when I show up in another country and claim that I am there to promote peace. When I claim that I am there to help them grow and learn, will the people I encounter laugh at me? Will they not believe me when I tell them I am there to learn from them and to integrate into their culture and their lives? 

The world is watching us. They are watching what we are doing. They are watching our protests. They are watching our speeches and our shootings and our reactions. They are watching and waiting to see what we will do next. 

I just hope that when it comes time for me to leave and embark upon this incredible adventure that I will be welcomed and wanted. I want to go to Africa. I want to go to Malawi. I couldn’t be more excited about this opportunity that I’ve been given. 

I also hope that Mr. Trump has watched Spider-Man. That quote applies to the both of us. I’m ready for my responsibilities… is he ready for his? 

They may be right. I don’t know. In so many ways, I see this as a way for me to grow into myself. To become a better human. I am so excited to be going on this adventure. I know I’ve said it before. I may be running. I may be trying to escape this town or this state or this country. I’m not ashamed of that. I, also, don’t see it as trying to escape. I see it as attempting to grow. I see it as attempting to learn more about the world and about myself. I have always wanted more and I have always wondered what my next step would be. I went through so many possible scenarios. I’ve tried so many things and none of them have made me feel this inspired, certain, and nervous. I think that’s a good thing. I think it’s just what I needed. I want, so badly, to make a difference and I hope that I will. 

I’ve told many of my classes about this opportunity. Mostly, I’ve told my 7th and 8th graders when I’m substituting for their classes. I love their various reactions. I love the look of amazement in their eyes. I love that so many of them are proud of me. It just heightens my excitement. They have so many questions. I enjoy answering all of them. Mostly, I enjoy being honest with them. I enjoy telling them about my hopes and fears and letting them into my feelings. I think it makes me more “human” to them and I LOVE that. 

I love that I get to tell them about this opportunity that most of them have never heard of. I get to help them discover another possible path. This won’t be my whole life. But, it will help to shape the rest of my life and I think that is awesome. 

I’m incredibly lucky to have the support system that I have. So many people are helping me prepare for this journey. Every person that I tell and, in turn, tells me how incredible it is that I’m going and how they could never do it and how proud they are of me, just makes me feel even more excited to go. 

These seven months need to hurry up!

I’ve been noticing a lot of things. I live in a beautiful city. I have a pretty great life with a lot of amazing people in it. I noticed the sunset the other day and almost took a picture. I keep taking pictures in my mind of things I want to remember and moments I want to capture and hold onto forever. Remembering that it’s the little things that I will miss the most. The way the lights are strung above the mall parking lot that makes it look much prettier than it actually is because it’s a parking lot. The way the trees line both sides of the street on my way home. The same trees that I’ve passed by my whole life in my favorite neighborhood. The fact that I can’t go anywhere without running into someone I know. This town has been my home for 30 years and I’m leaving. I have eight months for that to sink in. 

I went to the Simi mall last night to take my nieces trick-or-treating and saw so many familiar faces. So many people I’ve gone to school with for years. These people with their families and their babies. Where has the time gone? Because of my job, I am constantly back at schools I used to attend and it makes me feel incredibly nostalgic. I can’t help but ask myself “where has the time gone” because it feels like yesterday when I was thinking of any possible reason to stay home from school. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss high school! I just can’t believe it was over 12 years ago. 

This new adventure excites every fiber of my being and ignites the flame that’s been, quietly, waiting for years to burn brilliantly. It’s just weird to think about the fact that, very soon, I will be leaving my home. 

FOREVER. Even though I know it will fly by and then June will be here and I’ll be like “OMG I’M NOT READY!!!!”… 

I’ve been lucky enough to have gotten in contact with a girl who is already in Malawi as a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) and she has been super helpful. Honestly, I had a sinking hole in my stomach before messaging back and forth with her and now I feel a million times better. 

However, I’m realizing more and more that I am gonna need a lot of things. I’m notorious for packing last minute for every trip I’ve ever been on and so I am really trying to be smart about all of this. Luckily, there are lists that have been created and Anne, the PCV, is fine with me asking a million questions. She has already set me straight about a few things I wasn’t going to bring (makeup) and let me know of things I don’t need to bring (peanut butter!). So I should bring makeup but they give you peanut butter once a week. It’s the little things. 

To elaborate on the last post… they have powdered milk for the coffee but Anne says to bring powdered creamer because it will be a lot better… I know you were all worried. 

I found a water bottle on Amazon that has a built-in “life pen” that purifies your drinking water and works for 1000L! I’ll admit, I never thought I would find so much joy in discovering a particular water bottle.  

Update on my mom: She’s already tired of me talking about the PC and hearing me remind her REPEATEDLY of how much she’s gonna miss me but… COME ON. I’m so right. She said today “Erin, let’s be honest, who’s going to miss who?” And she’s right. I’m gonna miss her way more because I always do. 

I was in Long Beach all weekend and my older sister called and said my niece was asking about me. Being away from my family is going to be the hardest part of all of this. 27 months without them. Yikes. Thank goodness for FaceTime!