It really is the little things in life that are really the biggest things. Like, letters from halfway around the world or pickles in a bag. Or even food that kind of resembles pizza when it is so rare that you ever see cheese. 

I miss home. Someone once told me that the “threes” are the hardest. Three weeks, three months… that those are the worst when it comes to being homesick. Well, they were right! I’m just happy that I remembered that because knowing that made it so much easier to work my way through it. 

A week ago I hung my curtains. This week I pinned all of my pictures and all of the letters and artwork that people have sent to me on one of the walls in my sitting room. I also hung my hammock and cooked a full meal by myself. I gave Kuwala a bath. I hammered nails into my wall to hang my scarves and necklaces on. All of these are such small things that made such a huge difference. 

A few weeks ago I weighed myself and found that I had lost 15lbs even though I really hadn’t noticed. Today I put on the one pair of jeans that I brought to Malawi and they are so loose and I’m just so happy. 

I start teaching on the 18th and I can’t wait to have the students back here. It is so quiet without them. Also, I am looking forward to having a real schedule. My days move very slowly. Actually, life just moves slowly here. Not in a bad way. Just very different from home. 

I have been able to do many more things for myself lately and that is incredibly helpful in terms of how I feel because even just being able to soak my feet for an hour so that I could scrape the dead skin off was so wonderful and felt so incredible. I watched a movie and relaxed and nobody talked to me… except for Kuwala… and I’m ok with that. I am SLOWLY accumulating furniture and feeling more and more at home in this new community. 

It is so difficult being an outsider. Being called “azungu” instead of my name and being given the “azungu” price until they realize that you know the real price and sort of speak their language. Always needing to say “hello” first because if I don’t then I am the rude one. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. The people are wonderful and for the most part I am welcomed with open arms. There are just hurdles and even when those hurdles are expected, it doesn’t make it easier to deal with the hurdles. 

So, I will HAPPILY continue to introduce myself and continue to remind them that I am a volunteer and have no money to hand out. I will HAPPILY continue to try to prove that being here is important to me and their language is important to me and their culture is important to me because all of these things are SO important to me. I will keep reminding myself that I have only been in this community for a couple of weeks and I need to be patient as I try to inttegrate and, hopefully, win them over! 

As they told us at the very beginning: “This is the hardest job you’ll ever love.”

I’m just getting started!