It isn’t all sunshine and roses. I knew that from the day that I applied. My goal in starting this blog was to give an honest account of my time here in Malawi. Don’t get me wrong, Malawi is incredible and I love it here 90% of the time. But, some days are really difficult. Some weeks are definitely more of a struggle than I would like them to be. 

I’m currently in “site integration period” and that means that I am not supposed to leave my new community for three months. This is so that each volunteer can build a strong foundation for the two years ahead of them in their community.  Basically, we spent three months surrounded by like-minded individuals and now we get to spend these next three months surrounded by the opposite. 

Mind you, almost all of the people I have met in Malawi have been wonderful and kind humans. However, this country is built on a very different culture than the one I grew up in. These cultural differences can be very frustrating to both sides. 

The word “gentle” is not an adjective that I would use to describe myself and I know that, even to Americans, I can be a bit overwhelming in my “passionate” opinions. So, imagine how I may be coming off to Malawian men who are “lucky” enough to work with me every day. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I am passionate about equality and human rights and all things pertaining to the treatment of individuals no matter who they are. Typically, Malawian women are nothing like me. I’m opinionated, loud, strong, tenacious, and that is a lot different from the ways that women are expected to be in a Malawian village. 

Needless to say, I’m learning a lot. I’m realizing that I may not be able to change every man that I work with. I’m realizing that I need to celebrate my small victories like they are BIG ones. I’m learning to enjoy the few friends that I’ve made and be extremely and whole-heartedly present with them because laughing with them gives me all of the joy I need in order to make it through my day. I’m learning to truly look forward to my student, Moses, knocking on my door EVERY morning at 5:30am and the huge smile on his face when he sees how miserable I look when I open the door because I need my coffee before I adult. I’m learning to enjoy the cold bottle of Coca Cola after my mile walk to my trading center on days when there isn’t a blackout. I’m starting to remember to look up at the sky at night to see the gorgeous stars that shine so brightly here and the sun as it rises and sets each day. 

They told us from day one that this is “the hardest job you’ll ever love” and I am just trying to find the love in everything that I can. 

Mostly, I’m just trying to grow.  Also, Maizey thinks I’m a jungle gym.