Real Talk: I’ve been having a really tough time at my new site. I came here with high expectations. My fault. I expected everyone to want to listen to me and hear my ideas and respect my opinions and that just hasn’t happened. 

I’ve been having a difficult time getting through to the men in my community. Honestly, culture runs DEEP. I keep forgetting to celebrate small victories. I keep forgetting that I can’t change everyone and the ones that do want to change may take a while longer than I want them to. 

I’ve been homesick and sad and have, on occasion, wondered if it would be easier to just go home. 

HOWEVER, those musings only last for a few minutes because I know I am here for many reasons. I am strong and capable. I am making awesome friends and every day my students try a little bit harder to know me and let me in. Most of the male teachers are trying to understand me and hear me when I speak and voice my many frustrations. 

So, for a few weeks, I tried everything that I could to rejuvenate and get back to my happy and positive self. I ran every day. I wrote in my journal. I called my mom. I called my nieces. I ate food from America. Every tool in my toolbox that I could think of and nothing was working. 

Finally, I sent a text to my boss and asked him if I could take a day to go and visit my Malawi family in Njombwa. I just wanted to see my Amayi. My boss said I could go. 

I traveled yesterday with two of my students. We took two minibuses and walked 30-45 minutes in very hot weather and it was EXACTLY what I needed. Seeing my Amayi and my family and all of the people that I grew so close to in Njombwa rejuvenated me and really reminded me about all of the things I love in Malawi. It brought me back to the good. It brought me back home. 

One of the first men that I saw as I was walking into the village said, “welcome back to your home.” My cheeks hurt from smiling so big and laughing all day. I fell in love with Njombwa and all of the people there for the first three months in this country. I left my heart in Njombwa when I left one and a half months ago. I am so looking forward to visiting Njombwa often throughout the next two years because I know that that will always be the place that will remind me of why I love Malawi the most. 

My heart is so full.